I’ve been extremely pleased by the way my plant has flourished this winter. My grandmother gave this to me before she moved down to Atlanta with my parents. Last year, it only bloomed two small flowers. This year, it’s been flowers galore. Some flowers have spawned more flowers to give it a double-decker presence. It must be all the sunlight our living room receives during the day (along with more consistent watering).
I’ve been finding it harder and harder to post accurate accounts of how I’m feeling these days. It’s sort of dizzying how things swing from unbridled optimism to pessimistic anxiety and then back to unshakable confidence. I had a great time reading Saul Bellow’s The Adventures of Augie March in the first few weeks of the new year. In some ways, I feel like I, too, might be finding myself in ten or so years feeling both comfortable and uneasy at how things turned out, not too bogged down with regrets but sometimes wondering why some things just didn’t work out and, taking all these things into account, trying to ease the tension between hoping for something better and convincing myself that things are quite good. That’s pretty much what I got out of the book, and it had me thinking this way not so much with dread, but with a happy sadness – or sad happiness.
When I think about the plant in my living room again, it reminds me of how the right circumstances at the right time can do wonders, and I try to derive a feel-good message out of this observation, eager to apply it to my own life and work. But then again, the real world is already created (it’ll go on with or without me, I’m sure), and such circumstances are a matter of personal interpretation, or better, of invention. I can accept both ways and stay happy, I think.
My buddy Reggie featured me for his first “Sweaty Guinea Pig Discovered” entry. I’ve been much better about working out in 2008, and I hope it’s something I can continue doing regularly. Oh – and there’s this article too, if you’re interested.