The summer after fifth grade, I was riding my bike around the quiet streets of my suburban New Jersey town looking to gather up my friends for an evening game of basketball. I stopped by Matt’s house first and found out that nobody was at home. I rode down the hill to Eric’s townhouse and asked his father, who answered the door.

“Eric’s at a farewell sleepover party for Dong,” he told me. I was friends with Dong, and I knew he was leaving. I was puzzled as to why I hadn’t been invited. I went home and ate dinner with my family, and then rode my bike around town until it became dark.

“Eric didn’t want you there because he said you were too bossy,” Matt said, when I pressured him. I tried not to let my disappointment show, and instead, I played it cool.

“I see, I’ll have to talk to him, I guess.”

Eric was my right-hand man, ever since I taught him how to play football and helped him make friends when he first moved into our town after 4th grade. He was stronger and bigger than everyone else, but soft-spoken and generally considered a nice guy. He was also right about my bossiness. I enjoyed controlling the dynamic of our group – made up of around six to eight Korean kids – and it was important for me to have Eric by my side, using his physical presence to keep the rest in line with what I wanted for the entire group.

I met him at the park where we always played basketball. He was shooting by himself, wearing his beat-up gray tanktop and exuding a stale beer odor from his deodorant-less pits.

“Why did you do it?” I asked.

“Do what?” he asked, shooting as if he had done no wrong.

“You fucking excluded me from Dong’s party,” I said.

“Oh,” he said as he picked up the ball and turned his head down to the asphalt court. At least five seconds must have passed.

“Sorry.”

No eye contact, no excuses. I waited momentarily for an explanation.

Nothing.

“Well, whatever man, fuck this shit.”

I left the park, taking one last glance at him, holding the ball, perhaps wondering who had ratted him out about his betrayal. I dreaded the idea that we would have to address this issue later on, and even make some sort of conciliatory gesture towards each other. I even worried about the possibility of Eric taking over my position, if it hadn’t happened already, and making me the odd one out. Thankfully, my family moved to a different town in New Jersey a few months later. I never saw or talked to Eric again. Last I heard of him, he had become a drug dealer in high school and was soon expelled.