i remember reading Sartre’s No Exit and reading about how “Hell is other people.” and of course, there are times when you can’t agree more with that statement. the thing is, people don’t have to be overt jerks or assholes to make life hell. it’s not even the way people act. people can be hell because of the way they interact with you or the way they make you feel about yourself, even if they are super nice to you. when things are awkward between people or when there is a disparity in the way they feel about each other, it can get quite hellish. but i guess “hell” is just a term i like to use when things suck.

so having spewed my obscure, general comment about people, i must say, i need to adopt a repression method to stop mulling over the lame idea that people make me feel miserable. i sometimes feel terrible around even the people i care about, but i think the problem is me and not the actual interaction. when and how did i get this way? perhaps it’s always been like it, but i am finally sick of it.

that’s why i think work work work is the key. it’s a psychological medicine. if you work enough, you can avoid, at least for another moment, the internal worries and questions that come about in idle moments. of course, i am not saying that working – whether it’s school work, money work or save-the-world work – doesn’t come with its own baggage because there’s always politics and people problems when you do work as well, but then again, it’s just not as personal, or at least it doesn’t have to be.

so every once in a while i make these self-proclamations about the way i will be from this point on and i guess this qualifies as one of them. i will willingly avoid, repress, and drown out as many personal issues as possible and keep the level of drama in my daily interactions (both in my mind and with people) to a minimum. dangerous? bad for mental health? probably. but if anything, i’ll just channel a few things here and there on this blog or on some piece of paper and hopefully that’ll hold me over. but to show weakness, as macho and pigheaded as it may sound, is akin to being a weak person. i’ve been weak for long enough, so i guess it’s time to stop bothering myself so much about the very many insecurities i have and to just let it all go. just to justify the title of this entry, i guess i will opt for a nice pace of work day in and day out and hit each day in stride. tell me if this entry makes any sense.

day 7 in SF. i took a walk around the SBC Park area today – for those who don’t know, SBC Park is the new stadium that the SF Giants play in, the one that Barry Bonds slams homeruns out of from time to time. anyways, one thing i noticed about the area was that everything, not only the beautiful brick-walled stadium, but all the surrounding businesses and office buildings, were new. i walked into a starbucks because i had to use the bathroom and never saw anything as clean as this one. unfortunately, it was so new that it hadn’t installed the wireless t-mobile service yet. i took a walk around SBC Park and took pictures of the park, including its throw-back designs on the ticket booths and food stands. built right by the bay, the combination of cool bay breeze, beautiful glistening water and clean sidewalk pavements made the park a marvelous sight/site. my favorite moment was walking down the lone fishing pier all the way to the end and sitting at the round stone bench while looking at the birds sitting on a concrete ledge that was built as a sort of fence for all the boats docked at the pier. i guess these words don’t do justice to the scenery, but they’ll have to do for now until i get a nice photo essay working later on.

one thing that i noticed was the lack of people in the area. i saw a few joggers here and there and some people passing by in cars, but the overall area, because it wasn’t a game day, seemed dead. the restaurants were empty while valet attendants sat bored by their podiums. i walked into a Happy Donuts shop that was completely empty except one old man who ordered a chocolate chip muffin. i ordered a half dozen of those mini-glazed dots for 75 cents. i’m in a brand new borders bookstore using their internet cafe (they do the t-mobile thing, too) and the store is huge and beautiful but there is hardly a body around here. the people are only too eager to help here, but the lack of bodies probably makes their day boring. i’m sure business will pick up as more people know about the area and more residences set up around here, but for the moment, the entire area is just too new and probably too much ahead of the demand to do well. but for a straying tourist like myself, it’s been a quiet, clean and enjoyable stroll.

so it’s late afternoon on a friday out here in california, and of all places, where am i? at the dupelx of woody chang, the younger brother of my wonderful friend wally. i took the BART out to Berkeley in order to get a look at the campus and the downtown area, but when i got here, i felt a bit lost, so i looked up woody in the Berkeley directory and emailed him with my cell phone number asking if he would be a guide. within the hour, he called me and offered his services.

woody, as i have written before, is the quintessential asian american nerd. although he does not wear glasses, he dresses the part, moves the part and even speaks the part to perfection. he guided me around campus and then suggested we go to the Berkeley Art Museum (BAM, just like Brooklyn Art Museum back home). we did the quickest tour ever – in probably 15 minutes tops – and skimmed through every piece of work. i noticed a bunch of abstract works and voiced my disdain for such artsy, deconstructionist pieces. woody, in his star trekky declamation, noted that these were “scrawlings of the disturbed mind.” haha. i just thought that was a funny line coming from him.

i also found it amusing right when he first took me to campus and mentioned “free dinner” as the expected fee for his tour guide. he even referenced his previous tour experiences such as “mr. yao” or “mr. chong” – all his dad’s friends – and how they bought him dinner afterwards. i was more than glad to oblige and it gave me a chuckle. i even threw in a free jamba juice cuz he didn’t cease to crack me up. good guy that woody.

woody’s duplex is a nice looking house from the outside, and inside, it’s large enough to be a small frat home, but given woody’s social standing, it is more like a PC Game Center. his room is huge – i’d say it’s about 150 sq. ft – and you see a single mattress without any bed frames in the corner, a pile of papers all over the desk with a stray, eaten day-old cup noodle container, a stack of magazines propping up his LCD monitor and a self full of sceince fiction books. it actually looks very much like his room at home, which wally and i used to frequent in high school when we needed our grunt work done such as excel spreadsheets for a science lab report or some random work for any number of our underground operations.

well, i guess i’ve spent enough time on woody’s computer. time to look at berkeley one last time before heading back to SF. i’m telling you – the weather out here is too nice to get any work done. thank goodness for the miserable, erratic weather in nyc. serves the mind right.