i remember reading Sartre’s No Exit and reading about how “Hell is other people.” and of course, there are times when you can’t agree more with that statement. the thing is, people don’t have to be overt jerks or assholes to make life hell. it’s not even the way people act. people can be hell because of the way they interact with you or the way they make you feel about yourself, even if they are super nice to you. when things are awkward between people or when there is a disparity in the way they feel about each other, it can get quite hellish. but i guess “hell” is just a term i like to use when things suck.

so having spewed my obscure, general comment about people, i must say, i need to adopt a repression method to stop mulling over the lame idea that people make me feel miserable. i sometimes feel terrible around even the people i care about, but i think the problem is me and not the actual interaction. when and how did i get this way? perhaps it’s always been like it, but i am finally sick of it.

that’s why i think work work work is the key. it’s a psychological medicine. if you work enough, you can avoid, at least for another moment, the internal worries and questions that come about in idle moments. of course, i am not saying that working – whether it’s school work, money work or save-the-world work – doesn’t come with its own baggage because there’s always politics and people problems when you do work as well, but then again, it’s just not as personal, or at least it doesn’t have to be.

so every once in a while i make these self-proclamations about the way i will be from this point on and i guess this qualifies as one of them. i will willingly avoid, repress, and drown out as many personal issues as possible and keep the level of drama in my daily interactions (both in my mind and with people) to a minimum. dangerous? bad for mental health? probably. but if anything, i’ll just channel a few things here and there on this blog or on some piece of paper and hopefully that’ll hold me over. but to show weakness, as macho and pigheaded as it may sound, is akin to being a weak person. i’ve been weak for long enough, so i guess it’s time to stop bothering myself so much about the very many insecurities i have and to just let it all go. just to justify the title of this entry, i guess i will opt for a nice pace of work day in and day out and hit each day in stride. tell me if this entry makes any sense.