a few weeks ago, when i moved into my 158 sq ft single in East Campus, i let wook decorate the walls by putting selected digital prints up. wook, to avoid paying for interim housing, had been crashing at my place, so i didn’t feel too bad asking him to tape up over 100 photos to brighten up my room. taping them horizontally to go around the entire room, wook did a great job and the photos really did brighten the work. i had some favorites in very visible locations, such as these two super colorful photos of tomatoes that i took at a farmer’s market in san francisco (sounds really sophisticated, doesn’t it?) as well as photos of orange and baby blue balloons from last year’s successful block party. but the more i look around the wall at the 100+ photos, i realized something that had crossed my mind in murky, vague flashes a few times before: there i was, sporting my unspectacular smile in 90% of the photos – how vain! everywhere i looked, you were almost certain that it was me, and then maybe someone else. i was glad i didn’t have any photos of myself doing thug poses or pretending to be a model, but i surely made the point that i could tolerate looking at myself with all these pictures. i wondered what people who didn’t know me too well would think of such a display. narcissist?

but that was only a minor problem to what would later transpire with the start of school. as different friends came by to check out my room, they instantly noticed the photos and, i guess by human nature, sought to find the photos they were in. i had looked around my room enough to realize that some people, no matter how close to me they were, were omitted because we simply hadn’t taken a good picture together. i realized this was a poor excuse and that it reflected poorly on me to have multiple photos of some people and none of others. some friends felt slighted and others suggested i put a new photo up to make amends. i realized that this whole picture bit was a terrible political liability. i soon began to tell people that wook had put the pictures up from a random pile, although that was only partially true. i did choose the pictures, but i did so because the quality and color of the photo stood out. i had little thought for who was really in them, although i did think it somehow more relevant to have photos with me in it. oh well, stupid me – i had found a way to alienate people by putting pictures on the wall.

take them down? nah. i’ll just have to keep answering to charges that i don’t consider someone a friend because he or she is absent from the wall. but if being on my wall is such a big deal, please, feel free to make a photo appointment, and i’ll be sure to put up a photo of you and me together.