Category Archives: wasted keystrokes

a sorry attempt at writing something that sort of resembles stream of consciousness, but devoid of insight.

Countdown

Tomorrow – or in about seven hours – my life will change. Goodbye finance. Hello new life.

It’s been a long work week, my mind elsewhere and not much work to do since I passed on my responsibilities to others.

I spent my time surfing the web and doing things usually not allowed at work:

* Skobee is a new web service that offers an alternative to Evite. Try using it for your next party.

* BillMonk is a great way to track shared bills, rent, and your borrowed/lent items online. We started using it for our cable and electricity bills, and I used it for this Korean drama DVD that I let Pam borrow.

* Two years ago, I wrote a story called Seven Hundred Thirty Letters. I revised it at work while using ALT-Tab to hide my work whenever co-workers walked by.

* I read this Paul Auster story – “Auggie Wren’s Christmas Story” – and learned that it was the basis for his screenplay for Smoke. I added Smoke to my queue on Netflix.

* I made lunch reservations for JoJo on Saturday with Graceface. In the evening, I will eat at Houston’s with Sergey and Jeremy and watch Avenue Q. Excitement!

* I read up on the 25 greatest Calvin & Hobbes Strips and got all nostalgic in my cubicle. I used to have a huge collection of C&H books in my bathroom when I was a kid and read it every time I had to poop.

* I took long lunch breaks at Duke Cafe two days in a row. I had their soon dubu jigae the first time and an avocado BLT today. I’ll have to make my own sandwiches going forward.

So my life, which consisted largely of bonds, loans, Moody’s ratings, spreads, defaults, waterfalls, prepayments, offering memorandums, marketing books, warehouse agreements, breakevens, and other CDO-related things, will quickly turn into websites, logos, typefaces, paperback fiction, and lots of activity not confined to the desk. There is, of course, the inevitable tinge of sadness which comes with leaving something so familiar and secure, but I’ll keep in touch with my co-workers and cherish the moments of shared Seamless Web dinners, late-night mini-hoop contests, and dorky jokes about the credit rating of third world countries.

Well, I still do have to go in and break the news to my MD…

Post-its for Myself

The hours at work have been pretty rough in the past month, especially with three deals closing in consecutive weeks. Not that it’s been so miserable — I’ve actually felt good about some of my contributions to the group, and I recently had a year-end review which turned out much better than I had expected. Nonetheless, I need to remind myself that certain passions and interests await and that they will soon be indulged. Some notes – for myself, if not for the few who trek the vast webscape to read my entries:

* moving to Astoria next week. goodbye to the luxurious high-rise of 420 west 42nd street. i’ll miss the doormen, the ridiculous view from the 36th floor, and the convenience of major subways nearby. but paying half the rent and getting a quieter, different look at life slightly outside of New York will be very interesting. and to be exact, my address will read Long Island City. my roommates will be Andy Ni and John Jung.

* will make films again. i have a craving for making motion pictures. yes, i studied film in school and even made a few movies for fun (check out this one about a kid who decides to do banking and regrets it) – and i think when time becomes available, I will definitely look to write, direct, film, and edit some shorts. i’m a huge fan of Hou Hsiao-Hsien, especially his films starring Shu Qi and hope to make films similar to Three Times and Millenium Mambo.

* it’s called Barrel LLC. wook, dan, and i can finally call ourselves small business owners. we’ve been incorporated in the state of New York, although we still have a ton of paperwork to complete and fees to pay before we can whip out our company cards and company Blackberries. design, branding, marketing, e-publishing, and consulting will be our primary service offerings. we hope to make lots of money, learn many things, and be proud of our work – and not necessarily in that order.

* melanie comes back from Taiwan in a few weeks. she never writes about me in her blog though.

* write. it’ll be about a bunch of korean american kids who grow up with their awesome Christian names. i swear, i’m going to write it.

* re-entry into social life. care about columbia again, host dinner parties, seek out old friends/acquaintances, try to organize an HBA event.

* take things slow, don’t have a plan, and stop being so anxious.

A Game of Numbers

Reading Malcolm Gladwell’s review in the New Yorker about “The Wages of Wins,” a look at how the value of a basketball player can be determined with a complex statistical formula rather than gut-instincts scouting, I couldn’t help but to reminisce the good old days of the Hoching Basketball Association – a local basketball league in Edison, NJ that I founded with my friends in 2000 and ran until 2004.

Like the book’s complicated stat that determines the number of wins a player has contributed to his team, our league was very serious about the HBA Point system. The HBAP was a weighted average of various statistics which took into account a player’s contributions on offense as well as on defense. It even measured the efficiency in his ability to score (FG %). The HBAP was always a great indicator of who the impact players were in our league and our aggregate HBAP stats for teams never failed to correspond the HBAP leader with the best record.

Gladwell’s article made me think hard about how it is that people, across various professions, can be so overrated based on the tendency of others to focus and glorify certain figures over others. The greatness of a pastor based on the size of his congregation, the effectiveness of a managing director based on his P&L, the legitimacy of a president based on his — oh wait, this one has surpassed statistical rationale. But then there’s the concept of “clutch,” where you’re not really that great all the time but you somehow give off the sense of “stepping it up” when “things count the most.” A Reggie Jackson in October, a Michael Jordan in the playoffs, a Joe Montana in the fourth quarter — sure they all had great career stats, but it was because of their clutch performances that we still revere them. Does the analogy carry through to life outside the sports arena? I’m sure we’d all like to think so from time to time, but how much of this is media-induced myth (our nonstop comparisons to the sports heroes) and how much of it is a self-awareness of our everyday mediocrity with occasional attempts to surpass the routine?

If only there was a statistic to measure the value – nay, the meaning – of life.