the elusive hope (3 of 10)

note: ten-part series continued! | 1 | 2

He used to stand in line at Whole Foods, the one in the lower level of the Time Warner Center, while Janet ran back and forth dropping off grocery items into the shopping cart. The checkout line was always long on weekends, and this method that he and Janet had devised allowed them to save twenty or so minutes which otherwise would have been spent idly standing in line, peppered with inane comments about the nearest products and moments of awkward silence. Even in marriage, these awkward silences, when both sides wished for the other to say something interesting, persisted. Their efficient method was not welcomed by all parties. In some instances, people behind them would flash disapproving looks or mumble disgruntled noises under their breaths. Janet never seemed to pick up on the irritation of other shoppers, or if she did, she chose to ignore them. She was very good at ignoring, he often thought.

He still went to Whole Foods. Not every Sunday night as he had with Janet, but every other week, when he felt the need to save money and eat at home. He also used a basket, not a cart. Today he went to satisfy his craving for tuna. He remembered the days when he and Janet bought big chunks of dark red tuna and prepared grilled tunasteak with peppercorn and lemon seasoning at home. He walked swiftly by the fresh seafoods and walked down the aisle towards the canned goods. He reached for the 365 brand tuna, only $1.19 per can. He grabbed ten cans and stacked then in two columns inside his basket. Tuna sandwiches and tuna salads for at least two weeks. He just needed some celery.

Ten years ago, he owned his own business. Tomorrow, he would be in a cubicle waiting to answer phone calls from careless executives who spilled coffee on their keyboards and needed a replacement. He once thought about getting a dog, not long after Janet moved out. A friendly-looking one that was big and soft and would greet him at the door when he came home. But he doubted his ability to care for a living thing on his own. The city loves dogs, he thought. And yet, the idea of feeding the dog and cleaning up after it on a daily basis seemed too much of a nuisance. Laziness is often a companion of loneliness. He had been lazy for as long as he could remember.

7 thoughts on “the elusive hope (3 of 10)

  1. Face

    “Laziness is often a companion of loneliness.”
    Couldn’t have said it any better, Pete. That’s how I feel at home lately.

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